Wednesday 14 October

Mediation: An Option For When a Family Argument Has Gotten Out of Hand

Tune in as Jill sits down with Judy G. Barber, founder of Family Money Consultants, an agency that works to help families avoid litigation—and via mediation—figure out their differences of opinion on family money matters.

Judy goes through the various scenarios that can lead to family arguments and unfortunately can sometimes end inside courtrooms. One such scenario is well-meaning parents deciding to gift property to multiple siblings in order to "keep them close" when in actuality the siblings are not close and have trouble getting along. She cautions that shared property among people will not have a solidifying effect on sibling relationships. She also told us about how important it is for families to discuss these types of scenarios and their wishes before an issue comes up so that everyone understands what a parent wants to do and also the logic behind the decision. And, if despite everyone's best efforts a family argument arises and no one can agree on how to settle it, then Judy points out how helpful a mediator can be, because he or she can counsel the family and hopefully get them seeing eye to eye or at least agreeing to a resolution.

How Do You Find a Mediator?

If you have a family conflict you cannot resolve on your own then you may want to bring in a mediator to help you come to an agreement. Mediators are not always lawyers or arbitrators and most states do not require they be licensed or otherwise meet specific criteria in order to be a mediator. So, when choosing a mediator, here are some key points to consider:

• The mediator's background. Do they have experience and knowledge in the area you need help?
• Previous clients. Ask to speak to previous clients that are in similar situations to yours.
• Personality. Will both you and your siblings be able to listen and respect this person's opinion enough? You should ask what the mediator wants as the end result. This will indicate to you whether they value the working-out of the issue or a fast track to conflict resolution and you can gauge how other parties in your dispute will react to them.
• Ethics. Do not work with mediators who allow you private meetings with them or who do not expressly ask you to keep clear of others in the dispute outside the mediation room.

Mediators in your local area can be found by searching the phone book, Yelp.com for some metro areas and by contacting your local American Arbitration Association and asking for their list of mediators.

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